So many things have happened in a little over a week.
Please pray for Sam.
I will be lonely this week in Shineforth, but I'll be closer to God and listening to His word doubly hard.
Right now it may seem extremely unfair, but I think He has bigger plans for all of us - than living in the present.
So take heart, guys.
On another note, IB is taking its toll on all of us. Everyone's been catching some random bug or other - and I'm being weighed down by this incredible backlog of work I'm not even in the mood to handle. Everything's unravelling now - and I don't want to know what it's going to be like in a few months, with Council, SYF, Common Tests and Real IB German ab initio Paper all happening at the same time. It seems insurmountable, this mountain, right now. And like Teeps told me - "Cheryl, you're the culmulation of all responsibilities".
I want to do everything, and I want to do everything well.
I hope you guys understand.
But there seems to be no way out for SYF.
I'll be doing my first whole-school Chapel announcement on Monday, after which I have TOK Oral Presentation, I still have my untouched Siddhartha essay, untouched Miss Julie presentation, and untouched Operation Love surprise, untouched buy-Yiyang-a-gift-cos-his-party-is-tonight, and I still have to research on Afghanistan, seeing that I'm Ambassador for siMUN. Wowee. Not to mention the logistics for CAS project - I'm glad that reception has been pretty good thus far, already have like 14 people expressing interest for 25 places, even without me making the announcement. So hurry and sign up, guys! (Read previous post for CAS details)
I've not been spending my time wisely. And I've not been doing work. And no one believes me.
But count my blessings, and be thankful that I'm been endowed with good friends and people trust me to handle big-ass jobs.
And you. I hope I still mean something to you. But I'm afraid to make the first move again. I thought you said things were fine. I hope you meant it, because you really seem like you don't. Can we go back to November?
Haha, sorry, your constant source of entertainment is BAAACK! Ain't you all revved up and excited? Hahaha! Sorry I haven't been updating you with snippets and excerpts of my extremely interesting life, but hey, the draught is over. Everybody says "Hallelujah!"!Ki siao.
Anyway, Cranes to Grains, which I was IC of was pretty smooth and successful YAY! Massive Council project involving the whole school folding cranes together is quite crazy...the week leading up to it, I was handling calls and logistics with the SouthEast CDC and other charities and Madam and proposal writing and MR and Mpac stuff, and rehearsals, and posters and publicity. Wah, quite crazy. I really need to thank God, Hans, Yang, Kwong, Elsa, Seow and Teeps for everything and the support they've shown :-P Marcus and I had the thrill of stealing a dustbin for our misc collection point and getting caught for it.
Craziness. In fact, the SECDC guy was downstairs filming the whole Chapel thing, and sooo...we will appear in a documentary! Also, hahahaaha quite weird but our cranes will also be making their debut on a CHINGAY 2007 PARADE FLOAT by Songhe rice. Wah, gg.
There's going to be
ANOTHER long-term CAS project with the Singapore Disability Sports Council, in which you can clock A and S hours, by helping disabled beneficiaries SAIL. You don't have to know how to sail per se, you will just have to help them in and out of the boats and also if they have extra boats or free time, YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SAIL. darn cool right? hahaha! there will be 15- 20 places open to the whole school, and I'll be making a PA soon (gahh, no stage fright, cheryl!!!) so yupp hopefully desperate, or willing volunteers will step up. Mercenary reasons: Looks good on your CV and of course it's a whole new service learning experience. :-D
OH AND IM SINGING FOR CHAPEL NEXT MONDAY. quite queer, considering im the only student singing. but at least MEWTS (GUITAR GOD AND SHIFU), DML (DRUMMER EXTRAORDINAIRE), JUST (FANTASTIC PIANIST) and TIM (PHAT BASSIST) are proded at stuff and i'm looking fwd to our next rehearsal! :-D Merv and PingLoong are singing too yaaay!Ok, relationships have been healed and are healing and THANK GOD FOR THAT. like what becca blogged,
most of the time, problems must be tackled head-on and not allowed to fester or corrode at the relationships. that's when we can guide the relationship back to the right track. running away/escapism isn't wise and isn't the answer!!
BIG AND VALUABLE LESSON THANK GOD :-D
Healed. :-D Praise Be!
I find the previous blog post immensely laughable now.
I think the good things that came about from that confusion much surpasses the uncertainty, which at a few points caused me alot of pain. However, it has turned me back to Him, through finally finding a prayer group (Bec's, Just's, Ali's) and constant prayer.
Fusion was ear-deafening, but the Spirit came and administered at times. I don't think I've prayed with so much earnestness and sincerity in my life that night. Cell was good, and it spoke to me on so, so many levels. We're currently doing Revelations, and Uncle Robbie said that in order to be a true servant of God, you must pass through God's first fire, so as to ensure rapture.
His fire, though initially intimidating, is the warmest, more loving and gentle fire that one can expect. There is a cost of being Christian : that is,
to lift everything that you treasure up to Him, and have Faith. Not just belief, but FAITH. Then, it was at the moment when
I realised, what caused me so much hurt was because I didn't want to give up what I treasured - and the thing I treasured was causing me the pain, but I was trying my best to salvage and hold on to it, because I WANTED to. And when you give it up to Him, it may hurt at first, but He will return it to you, maybe not the same, but definitely much better, and plentifold.
Thank you, Lord.
And also another point about pride. That Man (usually men Uncle Robbie claims, but I disagree, women also) don't wish to admit their wrongs, and like to think that they know where they are going. "Yes, of course I know where I'm headed." kind of mentality, to keep travelling on the road, because they reckon they will somehow, eventually hit somewhere near whereever they might be headed. But women, they actually stop, pause, think, reflect and ask for directions "Um, hey where do I go now? I'm confused."
But men? Maybe it's pride, or the male ego. But how often it applies to all of us. I have ruined many a relationship because of pride, I suppose. The reluctance to back down first...and then I realise...in the end, I am the one backing down, because the other person either 1)has more pride than I do, 2)it's easier for me to step down and swallow my dignity 3)I care too much about the other person to wish for things to continue in this stalemate, but then it's a 2nd slap in the face, when the other person doesn't accept or warm up to your sincerest efforts to go back to where we were, and also...doesn't tell me what is going on, and leaves me puzzled, and more hurt than if he/she were to tell me what's in their heart.
Like Seow said, honesty is the best policy. And I guess I have never experienced it, because I still can't swallow that bitter pill and evil sin of Pride.
I'm sorry, Father.
Read Judges, to overcome your Fear.
Cheryl. aka Chers, Sim, Simster. 6th September 1989. Je suis enfant de Dieu. Child of Jehovah. BRMC Shineforth. Loves cathartic movies, books, musik, shopping, swimming, and jumping about crazily in the safe abode of my home. Enjoys flowers, cold weather, rainy days, long telephone conversations, wee hours of the morning, ice cold latte with whipped cream and a cookie on the side, meeting new people, church-going and my friends.